WHY I LOVE HOME AFFAIRS, AND OTHER MUSINGS

Hello again.

Sorry for the lack of love over the last two months.

A few highlights:
Running a course for about 200 DHS boys late in July which suddenly became very intense when heavy snow fell and teams had to be evacuated and sheltered while we waited for it to pass and for roads to clear. It was very cold, very beautiful, fairly stressful but ultimately successful!



There was loads more snow than this when we were there. Loads!

Visiting Burnette in Capetown.
- We went rock climbing in Kleinmond, which is an epic-ly beautiful spot overlooking the wild ocean and river mouth from craggy, sun-drenched cliffs;
- Whale watching in Hermanus, where we saw plenty of close-up whale action;
- Riding into the sunset along the mountainous coast from Hermanus towards Capetown with crisp air, wine farms, incredible colours in the sky and on the sea, my new (HOT!) Sidi shoes and a nippy tailwind for company...heaven!

-Climbed Table Mountain from the back and hiked around on top of it all day;
-Had romantic dinner with another couple, friends of ours who are getting married in December, at an awesome restaurant complete with a tenor singing acapella in the background! and we had some fabulous 'us' time which you don't need to know about. Haha

Selecting next year's instructor team
This wasn't all nice but it has been a serious process. For this massive fight we had, in the blue corner, with much to lose and everything to gain, the 20 or so applicants who were very keen to work for us and all are very nice people but in the red corner, weighing in at a hefty 17 years in the industry, we had Spirit of Adventure with its high standards and limited places. Trying to referee and score the fight while simultaneously being in Spirit of Adventure's corner was me, armed with all the insight into people I could muster, some psychological knowledge and experience of many successful and less successful teams down the years and SoA's best interests at heart but compromised by my sympathy for all of them and the memory of how badly I wanted it back in 2003, how flawed I was when chosen and how amazing the experience was for me. Add to that my usual dose of ridiculous optimism which requires constant controlling and you can see why this has been a tough process. However I think we have a great team for next year. Phoning people to say no really blows though.

My 2004 Instructor family after our first sky dive all feeling hard core!

And many other highlights which would be less exciting to read about: Like running training workshops for Northwood prefects, Glenwood teachers and the company responsible for sorting out that wrecked ship off Salt Rock Beach. I'm also getting closer to understanding the different motivations men and woman have to lead and the subtle differences in the way they do it.

But what about Home Affairs?

I have recently engaged in the process of getting my lost I.D. book replaced by The Department of Home Affairs. From my previous experiences I was looking forward to it about as much as Zuma is looking forward to being welcomed home from Norway by the ANCYL....


But the experience is awesome!

You arrive and are immediately issued a ticket with a number on it. You soon realise that, with a smart piece of European-style technology, called 'q-matic' or something, they have completely revolutionised the experience. You no longer need to polish the hard rows of benches with your bum as you slide ever closer to the nasty little window, manned intermittently by an uninterested automaton of a human being tapping away with one finger at a manky keyboard. Instead you recline in comfortable seating, with arm rests to ensure the different cultural perceptions of adequate body space are not exposed, and watch the screen. This screen tells you which counter is seeing which ticket currently and it is accompanied by a Telkom-esque voice giving you the same information. It is best to relax and not to pay too much attention to which number is called when. Just when it seems to make a little sense the pattern changes and you soon realise that the number you were issued had nothing at all to do with the order in which you arrived. This would be frustrating if it weren't for the fact that the system has taken the ques away and made your life much more comfortable.

There is also much entertainment to be found if you look around. Firstly there are the people who skip the info desk and que for ages before realising that, without a ticket, they don't actually exist. There are others who have taken tickets but haven't worked out the implications. Watching them asking around to find the que they should be in when everyone seems to be sitting haphazardly is great fun, especially because these are usually people with that very special sense of style found only on the bluff. Then there's the constant sense of excitement that, at any minute, your number could be called and you will be able to rush up to claim your prised moment with automaton who now has a human-kindness-inspiring counter to sit behind instead of a window with a gun slit. This excitement makes it almost impossible to remember your ticket number so you see everyone checking and re-checking there slip like a poker player holding out for a straight flush. And finally, there are the signs over the doors and counters. Only at home affairs can you have hundreds of people sitting around with babies crying and the Telkom lady constantly calling out the lotto numbers from a speaker directly above a door saying, "Quiet. No entry. Marriage in process." Another door had the incredible title; Birth, Marriage, Death Supervisor. Can you imagine what must happen in that office!? I thought you could do at least two of those things without supervision but it seems not. What kind of qualifications would you need to head that office? It boggles the mind.

Eventually you hear your number. You shout Bingo! and run to the counter before they role on to the next. Once you are there you find that your fingerprint is on the digital system and you simply need to have it scanned by the futuristic little red light shining gizmo they have at each counter to prove who you are, no documentation required! Having spoken with the friendly person, across their friendly counter, I parted with my cash and went home. Some time later I went to check how it was going. After a similar process I scanned in and was told the exact stage in the process my new I.D. book was at and how long to expect. Then, a few weeks later, I received an sms telling me it was ready. I went down and, after doing the whole dance again, I signed for it. Job done. It all seems pretty reliable and organised, I've been really impressed.

My good mood when I picked it up yesterday and decided to write about it today may have been influenced by the fact that I have just bought the tickets for Kenya! Yes, a couple of us are heading off to Kenya, via Tanzania, in December to have an adventure and climb mount Kenya! I can't wait! If you're keen to join me, let me know, we'll be traveling from the 11th till the 23rd of December and it's going to be awesome!

I've also found my Landy! She's a beauty so as soon as my beloved Fiesta is sold I'll be rocking out in my personal example of the best 4x4xfar. Land Rover forever! . . . provided it is regularly serviced :)

It will be inspired by these legendary camels.

But it will be this colour and almost as hard core.

Until Next Time

Paul

P.S. If anyone is looking for a 2004 Ford Fiesta 1.6 in mint condition with airbags, aircon, ABS, electric windows, CD Player, mags central locking etc. etc. for R65 000 let me know. The sooner it goes the sooner I can start going on crazy adventures and telling you all about them!

One of the best days I've ever lived through

After a cold spell in a Shongweni winter there are always a few days that dawn as perfect as you can imagine a day to be. The air is so clear that you can see for miles, catching every tone and hue of the freshly rain-washed landscape. There is a bracing coldness to the air despite the clear sunny sky and very little wind blows. You gulp down mouth fulls of that atmosphere and it makes you feel indestructible, like you could walk any distance, endure any hardship and cope with any crisis provided you could stay in such an idyllic spot.

June the 5th was one of those days.

I was in camp that day planning to go on a recce hike up into the very rural village perched on a pretty inaccessible ridge that boarders the reserve. To get there one needs to wade/boulder hop/scramble across the river beneath the Dam Wall and then climb a switch-backing path up 250 meters of nearly vertical hillside to emerge looking down on the Dam, the wall and the entire reserve. It is breathless and breath-taking stuff!

At the top we started heading in the direction of the village. Three of our instructors; Brad, Lara and Jason were with me and we four lilly-white walkers went to see what kind of reception we would get in the village, hoping we could make friends and pave the way to eventually take school children up there to spend a night in the village and serve the community in some way while having a genuine cultural experience. I knew that there had been some crazy tribal warfare in the past and that poachers come down from that village into the reserve from time to time...so I took a big stick with me.

What an amazing place! There are no streets, just paths through the virgin bush, grassland and subsistence farms that link the 'kraals' together. Little children waved to us from behind their mother's skirts and everyone wanted to see and greet the curious "umlungus" that were like creatures from another planet. We used all the Zulu we knew to ask for directions to the home of one of Spirit's security guards who lives up there. When we found Lumulani's house it was awesome to see him in his kingdom. He was heading off to hunt for pigeons as a "snack" but we chatted to him and his friends for a long time.

While the poverty is real and life is hard without doubt, nobody seemed to be going hungry and there is a beauty and innocence to that ancient way of living that made me wonder why anyone would ever leave. It is a short, but difficult, journey to eDamini village, which is just across the valley (but 200 years separated) from them, to catch a taxi into town but if I was Lamulani I think I'd make it as infrequently as possible.

Having hiked out of the village and climbed back down into the reserve it was almost time to head home and get showered so that I could suit up for Ross and Laura Nixon's wedding. Ross has worked at Spirit for ages so many of us were going to be there and what a celebration it was! Great people, great food, great dancing, I gave it everything I've got, and the presence of God was all over it.

Thus concluded a wonderful, wonderful day and I went to bed in the knowledge that I would be test driving Land Rovers the next day in my first tentative steps towards, maybe-possibly, swapping my beloved fiesta for the best fourbyfourbyfar.

More on that still to come I'm sure:)

Till next time

PaUL

A thought about elections

Winston Churchill is always worth a qoute or two.

Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities... because it is the quality which guarantees all others.

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.

A politician needs the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen.

We shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender

You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life

And...The all time favourite:

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

But the Churchill quote I heard just before elections that really got me thinking was this;  The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.

And it wouldn't be too far fetched to suggest that the average South African voter wouldn't do much to change his mind, if the nutters we choose to lead our country are anything to go by....

But what exactly is it that those South African voters have got wrong? What would they say that would make you wonder if putting a ballot paper in their hands is not that responsible? Surely giving everyone an equal say is always a good idea?  Isn't that why kindergarten classes are often put in charge of surgical proceedures; Everyone gets to have their say and feel empowered, and there may be some fun ideas... but the patient who comes around to find their arms sticking out of their knees might have some interesting points to raise.

I don't think South African voters do badly because they are dumb. I've heard a young Zulu man, who went to the same good school I did, who had a scholarship to UCT based on his outstanding academic performance and who is studying to be a doctor, say that he was planning to vote for Jacob Zuma, even though he thought he probably was guilty of much corruption, because... wait for it... "As presedent he won't be able to do whatever he wants. Government will still control him." What kind of reason to vote for a man is that? On that basis we shouldn't bother with elections at all, it should just be a lottery! 

So more education doesn't make better voters. Even people who havn't had a fare chance at education are more than capable of picking a good apple out of bad ones, the problem is what we expect a good apple to look like here. We've been lied to and dissapointed so many times that I'm not convinced many people in this country understand what they should be able to expect from their leaders. There is an assumption that, no matter what, leaders will abuse their position and get rich and that they deserve respect for this. When all the candidates are expected to be greedy, your best bet is simply to vote for the one who comes from your race or clan or town or family, because that's your best chance of benefiting.

In a context where elections are simply a chance to demonstrate clan loyalty, rather than to punish leaders who abuse us and choose ones who serve us, you don't have democracy at all, you end up with a strange aristocratic system with a veneer of socialism and some token elections to keep our international image nice and palatable.

Just imagine young leaders in SASCO, the ANC Youth League, the various trade unions and schools and organizations in this country were to be told something like what Alan Webber recently wrote in the Washington Post

You will be told that you have a responsibility to be leaders. That what the world needs more than ever are leaders. That we suffer from a lack of leadership. That with your education, your values, your ability to apply social media, your global vision, your youthful idealism, you will be the next generation of leaders!


Now. Listen. Very. Carefully.


Pay no attention to any of that. That is what we call hogwash.

Choosing to lead is one of the most rewarding decisions you may ever make. But it’s not about you. Yes, you will bring your unique and much needed gifts to the world, but not for your own sake. Your job is to use your gifts to help others express, make known and fulfill their potential. Influencing others with a purpose, a calling, and with opportunities they never imagined they had.


It’s a mindset of service. It’s a mindset of continual learning. It’s a mindset of growth.


The single biggest truth of leadership is that we build who we are by building up others.


That doesn’t come naturally to us, but it’s your calling, if you would be a leader.


(from Leading Blog: A Leadership Blog by Michael McKinney)

And then Imagine they saw that kind of leadership being modelled by those in positions of responsibility (not power). Then imagine the people of South Africa started believing that leaders could be like this and began to look for apples that looked like that, tossing the others aside, regardless of what clan that rotten apple represented. That would be the kind of democracy Madiba would be proud of!

Well that's what I'd like to think anyway.

Cheers untill next time

Paul

"Be yourself, thats what's really cool"(David Starsky)

Hello again, apologies for the long silence!

Over the past month I've spent a week living in a cave in the Drakensberg while guiding Canadian tourists up the Rhino...twice! I've gone four-by-fouring in my fiesta which led to three amazing discoveries, more on those in a moment, I've run some awesome corporate training courses, I've been training super hard for the upcoming national champs for Ultimate Frisbee (stop sniggering at the back!), and I've managed to un-learn the habit of blogging all together! I have also become a convert to a new philosophy in management and psychology which gets us all feeling good about ourselves AND performing better! But you can be the judge of that :-)

A while ago I ran a course for Unilever and it went very well. After all the happy people left I still had a decent chunk of afternoon/evening sunlight left. I also had my trusty electric yellow salomon trail shoes and my holey (and wholly inappropriate) little red running shorts in the car. When faced with a trifector of good fortune like that there is only one logical course of action... some semi-legal exploration.

This is not unusual for me. Just to put you in the picture; I've trespassed into the back corridors of most shopping centers you could care to name, my old primary school (climbed the drain pipe and got onto the roof at night), the off-limits areas of u-Shaka and it's ship, the arch of Moses Mabida stadium (climbed without the safety gear they recommend, before it was open to the public and set up my mate's marriage proposal on the arch - They were the first ever!), the formula 1 track at Silverstone England (My father, the Anglican priest, was mostly responsible for this), the pitch of Moses Mabida two weeks before the first world cup game was played on it (very nearly busted but talked my way out) and, most probably, your back garden.

So I headed out towards Giba Gorge, that festering pit of mountain bikers run by TVG, our team-building and adventure camp nemesis, to see what actually happens down there. To cut much getting lost and back-tracking short, I found myself on a little road/track that I think is intended for the cyclists only but I drove up it. The further I got the narrower it became until I passed under the highway and continued to climb up into the cliffs and valleys beneath Winston Park. Eventually the plucky Ford could do no more so I swapped from horsepower to manpower and headed out into the lengthening shadows and steaming humidity.

DISCOVERY NO. 1: The Secret Spot. The trail I discovered, and began to run, single-handedly turned me into a trail running devotee. It seems to be in the most forgotten little patch of wilderness between civilization and a bunch of hairy-legged, baggy shorted, visor adorned mountain bikers...and the highway, but the string of crests and tree lined zig-zagging downhills with off-camber bends, fallen trunks to hurdle, log bridges to flash over, vines to duck under and views to distract you from the pain and fast approaching root waiting to trip you made me laugh out loud as I pounded along! It's sweaty, mud-spattered, thorn entangled nirvana!

DISCOVERY NO. 2: When you get a puncture, while driving over super rocky terrain, you will cut the sidewall of your tires unless you stop instantly, especially if they are low profile tires

DISCOVERY NO. 3: The sixteen inch mags on a Ford Fiesta need tires in a size so rare you're better off selling the car and going fishing for megalodons or unicorns. And if you find a tire that fits, you'll pay till your eyes water.



This Fiesta driver probably needed a full set and went off the deep end after searching in vain for a period of many years.

My philosophical discovery has been the Strengths based movement in management theory, led, most eloquently, by Marcus Buckingham (look for him on YouTube, he's brilliant!). The thought is; stop spending all your time working on your weaknesses and suffering through the parts of your job that you hate thinking that you ought to be well rounded and keep a stiff upper lip for the sake of the team blah, blah. You won't succeed at changing yourself and you won't be able to be creative, motivated and energized when you're working in an area of weakness. You're only an asset when your leveraging your strengths. Starsky already knew this when he earnestly told a bunch of hard core bikers they had just beaten up, "Hey. Be yourself. That's what's really cool." The irony of the fact that he was in full disguise at the time was lost on him but his point still stands.



It's a beautiful look...

I'm optimistic, creative, I love teaching, mentoring and speaking, I'm good at motivation and looking after team dynamics and relationships. I grasp complex concepts pretty quickly and enjoy solving problems. I release potential in people and communicate well to an audience, but... I'm horrible at the other kind of communication, the day to day organizational kind to make sure every department gets the correct info at the correct time. I suck at creating systems or being diligent enough to keep one running smoothly for any length of time. I don't organise or manage details particularly well and the same trait that makes me great at thinking on my feet and improvising a way out of crisis often makes me leave things open-ended until I'm doing at the last minute what others would have done ages before.

As you think about a typical week, remember the stuff you just loved doing. You were successful at it, the time flew by while you were doing it and it provided an emotional high, you are interested enough in that topic that you would happily read up on it further and you can see that you are growing in that area or that it makes you feel that doing that task is what you were really created to do and it leaves you feeling satisfied as a result of your meaningful contribution to the world. Success, Iinstinct, Growth and satisfaction of Needs are the for SIGNS (how convenient) of a strength. Once you've identified them you need to be honest about the fact that your job, degree, church, family or team deserves them from you and, within reason, you need to start accepting roles that allow you to use them more of the time and positioning yourself so that you do the tasks which weaken you less and less. It's not shirking or passing the buck, it's just intelligent. And when you do have unavoidable parts of your work that weaken you you can set aside a time to do them when you've just come off the high of using your strengths and you can discipline yourself to get through that stuff in a specific chunk of time. This process will stop the toxic effects of your weakness spreading throughout your day every time you feel guilty about that thing you're slowly chipping away at or putting off.

The after effects of using a strength or a weakness are real. After the Unilever course that had gone well I was on a high from using my strengths which had a real impact on the creativity, resilience and optimism I took into my afternoon and led to my trail running expedition. Had I just come out of an afternoon hacking through the preparation of a berg hike, cross checking lists with equipment and racking my brain to think of anything I may have forgotten or a long meeting on staff structure and who exactly should be doing what, and reporting to whom as we look at the future I would have been exhausted and gone home to the TV via cinabon.

Get stuck focusing on what's wrong with your team-mates and that is what they will focus on. You will be making your most important resource weaker! Get them moving into what they're good at and they will start to fly!

I'm off to Capetown to fill up the love tank,Go Sharks against the Lions on Saturday! Go Tom Boonen in the Paris-Roubaix on Sunday! And Go Prawn Bunnies against the Long Donkeys on the frisbee field that same day! A Jenson Button win might be asking a bit too much though :-)



Until next week

Paul

'The Zoolander - Hansel Complex' and other new Psychological phenomina

Cause and effect, action reaction; these relationships seem to refer, only, to objects in the physical world. It would seem ridiculous to claim that the way we feel, and therefor act, can be predicted in similar ways...but this is not actually true. People are not that different from planks. If it is flicking up and hitting you in the face it is probably because someone has stood on the other end. If it is groaning and sagging it probably has too much weight on a certain point. If it is hard to move it probably has a nail holding it back somewhere. If you take the time to investigate, you will always find that people who are behaving in unpleasant ways are just the same. They aren’t just ‘bad’ or evil for some mysterious reason. There will be a cause for their behaviour which can be dealt with.

You calling me a plank!? I have free choice don't I?

You do. You might be surprised at how predictable our choices often are but we are a little more advanced than planks. The variable that allows us to control and filter our responses to stimuli better than planks can is our level of Emotional Intelligence. The less you have, the more like a plank you are. High levels of Emotional Intelligence have been shown to result in healthy relationships, happy families and success at work. Reckon it's worth knowing what EQ is?

The ability to recognize and control emotions in yourself and in other people (paraphrased from Goleman).

So EQ is made up of awareness and control, recognition and regulation, and it has to do with myself and others, personal and social.

 

Self Awareness:
It all starts with taking a good long honest look in the mirror. If you are to understand, and ultimately control, your own emotions you will need to look carefully at what causes them. What makes you frustrated, angry, impatient, insecure...what turns you off. And similarly; what turns you on? What makes you behave in the ways you wish you always behaved? What are you really good at and under what circumstances are you best at it? A mature person doesn’t have the luxury of being moody or having good days and bad days. You can’t just be tossed around on an ocean of emotions that you can’t predict or control. You have to start understanding yourself so that you can control your reactions and become less like a plank which is powerless against cause and effect.

Self Management:
Almost every poor behaviour, or lack of it, comes from a root of insecurity (sometimes disguised as arrogance or pride), greed (sometimes disguised as competitiveness or good taste) and laziness or fear of change (sometimes disguised as the wisdom of experience or a lack of greed).

Emotion is the fuel that drives our behaviours, no matter how rationally we chose them. Once you have identified the roots of your emotions you have the tools to manage your behaviour. It is now possible to strive to meet higher standards than those set for us, to use your initiative and to choose optimism in the face of scepticism. It is now possible to initiate change in your own life and be pro-active not re-active, to break the cycle of cause and effect... to stop being a plank.

It must also be obvious that these personal competencies are critical if you hope to lead others and, if you have them in abundance, almost guarantee that others will already be following you. Now how does one use the same combination of awareness and control through actions when dealing with the emotions of others?

Social Awareness:

“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.”

 

Empathy is the central competency in Social Awareness. It is normaly described as imagining you were in someone else's 'shoes'. Unfortunately this is too simplistic. A person is looking tired and sad and is sitting alone at a braai. If I put myself in their shoes I would imagine needing someone to pull me into conversation with a bunch of other people, get me laughing with a joke and then rip me off for taking myself so seriously.  But I am an extrovert, and have plenty of fun when I’m the centre of attention, so this would energise me, what if the person I have noticed is an introvert who is exhausted from all the socializing and really wants someone to take them somewhere quiet for a ‘real’ conversation. I need to work out what it is like for that  person to be in their shoes not what it would be like for me.
Being sensitive to the needs of individuals is only part of social awareness. The other part is recognising the dynamics of the group, this is called organizational awareness. People have all sorts of different needs and when you put them all together very interesting things will happen. I need to realise who holds the power in the group and who is being marginalised etc. if I am to fully understand the needs of the people in that group. Once you know how all the ‘planks are connected, through organizational awareness, and what the pressures on each plank are, through empathy, you will be able manage the behaviour of those planks much better.

Relationship Management:
This is where you can begin to be a puppet master and get the best out of your team. No matter how bad a person may seem, there is always a root cause for their behaviour once you have found it you can attempt to satisfy that need through reassurance, attention, firm boundaries, inspiration etc. and then begin to lead them towards the place you want them to go. Sometimes you need to show them that doing what you want them to do will satisfy a need that they have. Perhaps you need to develop their skills or inspire them like a fearless hero. Sometimes you need to take a high moral stand or use sheer force of character to inspire them to follow you. Perhaps you need to be the catalyst in the group  for the change you realise they need or be the mediator that resolves conflict and gets them working together again. In all things the Emotionaly Intelligent leader should be looking for the strings he or she can pull in order to get the best out of each individual in their team.

At Spirit of Adventure we meet plenty of people who test our ability to Empathise well. Children are especially good examples because they are so instinctive in the way they act, not subscribing to social norms as much. These are some classic examples of the characters we meet that need to be handled with E.Q. Here's what I tell the instructors :

The Zoolander – Hansel Complex:
A grade five boy is always playing the fool, boasting, showing off and trying to know more than you. Occasionally challenges you and is rude to the team.
->     He actually idolizes the instructor and just needs your approval so don’t become annoyed and ignore his attention seaking behaviour. Take him aside and reprimand him firmly then get him on ‘your team’ and give him responsibility. Show that you are proud of him when he does well.

 

The sore thumb
A grade seven girl doesn’t say anything, won’t get involved in the group or enter into the fun, she claims to be above it. She won’t risk anything in front of the other kids and they sometimes ridicule her.
->    She doesn’t actually think she is better than everyone else, she is probably the one being teased at school. Don’t make her feel even more vulnerable by treating her differently from everyone else, just keep speaking to her as if you fully expect her to join in. Let your enthusiasm begin to warm her then find a chance to chat. Don’t try to talk about her ‘problem’ just chat about anything she likes. Eventually your repeated invitations will get her to try something and you should congratulate her warmly but sincerely not exaggerating it.

 

The Scary Rebel Leader
A loud and arrogant grade eleven boy who is popular and clearly feels confident in the group. Challenges you openly but from amongst his peers and sees everything as ‘lame’.
->    This character hasn’t been given enough boundaries and has been spoilt all his life. He has also been let down by people in authority and his intelligence allows him to see through any hipocracy in his leaders. Take him on fairly and as an individual. Pull him out of his crowd which gives him confidence and be completely consistant. Never compromise or try to get on his side by becoming friends early on. Once you have ‘won’ the battle try to find a way to get to know him and show that you are interested in him and will be friendly if he is reasonable but the same standards still apply.

 

The Lovergirl
Grade six girls occasionally fall in love with their male instructors. She would start to push boundaries and monopolise your attention, seeking affirmation from you for everything.
->    You can’t afford to entertain this because it will build up and mean that she doesn’t get any real value out of the course. It will also irritate the rest of your team so be kind and gentle but continually distance yourself to an older brother type relationship. Treat her exactly like the rest of the team and patiently ensure that you give as much attention to everyone. She will still need your approval but do your best to deflect her adoration.

So now you know enough to be an istructor. All you need now is the technical stuff like setting up abseils and rescuing kids from capsized boats...you know, the easy stuff.

Until next time

Paul
http://www.psychometric-success.com/emotional-intelligence/emotional-intelligence-in-business.htm      

What you miss out on if your government is worried about health and safety

This is amazing! What's most insane is that he doesn't seem to be clipping into the cable! Just imagine walking this exposed, it'll make your stomach turn to jelly!

I want to try:)

The reason the Spanish are dominating the world of sport must have something to do with the fact that a place like this is allowed to exist in their country. The authorities don't feel it is necessary to prevent the weak or the stupid from killing themselves when trying it, unlike the UK who take the protection of morons very seriously. This can only mean good things for the qaulity of the people who make it to reproductive maturity. Survival of the fittest being allowed to work. Haha!

I guess the South African version can be found next to most of our roads. Just as crumbling and badly maintained with plenty of life-threatening danger all around you! Hence, we are the Rugby world champions:)

What are people thinking some times!?

I am a fairly brand conscious person I must admit. Some brands are just better and others are cooler. Some even manage to combine the two. We get very fastidious and loyal about our brands when it comes to outdoor gear at Spirit of Adventure because hiking, camping and climbing stuff is expensive, looks cool and has to function well for comfort and for safety in a demanding environment. That is why we all hate K-Way. It is the Mr Price Sport of the outdoor world. Generic, unimaginative, cheap, almost everyone has it and it is often annoyingly competitive when compared to much more expensive gear...to start with anyway. So, if I'm honest, we all own more of it than we'd care to admit.

This is why we deliberate for ages before making a purchase and then mock each other relentlessly if a weakness is detected, sometimes even if it isn't. I have recently been very happy with my 'Thermal Comfort' blow up mattress, my La Sportiva hiking boots and I've just recently got an MSR camping stove that promises to be awesome, and it's called the pocket rocket... how can it fail? All very exciting for the hiking nerds among us. The tricky part in all of this is that there is an emotional connection to your gear as well as a practical one. It has to work and one obviously wants the lightest, toughest, warmest, smallest packing, longest wearing item on the planet but you also want it to make you feel good about yourself, as though all that money you spent has been worth it in some way. After all, the " aspirationally outdoor market" (is there a worse category to find yourself in anywhere on the planet?) relies on exactly this self esteem-boosting quality in outdoor gear, and makes Cape Union Mart lots and lots of money. This means that, even for the hardened hiker, your heart sometimes gets in the way of your head when choosing between one outstanding product and another, especially when one has a sexy brand name, is slightly better looking, similar in spec but is much more expensive and the other is, well, a K-Way. What should you do?

All that K-Way embodies

My little Mustang

Here I turn to a story about two of us Spirit of Adventurers who were both buying new cars. We both had similar money to spend. One of us believed the thing should be practical, efficient, reliable and get him from A to B with no fuss. If these are your only considerations there is only one possible car for you in the entire motoring universe; a Toyota Tazz in the best condition your pocket can accommodate. The other of us (me) liked all of the common criteria like reliability and efficiency but was prepared to compromise a little because he wanted if to be beautiful, fast, fun to drive and slightly individualistic. With the same amount of money as the Tazz buyer this was difficult. He (I) had to search long and hard and find some Indian genes from deep within himself in order to sell his previous car for more than it was worth and buy the new one for less than you'd ever find it advertised. The result; a two door, 1.6, top of the range Ford Fiesta with aircon and electric windows, CD player and airbags, with ABS and a sporty wire-mesh grill and big Ford wheels with low profile tires. This is a stomach in chest out kind of a car! Now it is a little less fuel efficient and it costs more to service but it doesn't just get me from A to B, it gets me smiling all the way from A to B and I often go via C just for fun. I'm sure this is adding years to my life and it makes me thankful for my brand snobbery every time I see my pony parked next to the infinitely more practical and sensible K-Way Tazz it shares a parking with.

Is any further argument needed Land Cruizer fans?

Nowhere do motor buyers understand the emotional importance of the brand you buy more than in the 4x4 market. I hope in years to come I can substitute my earlier story with one about a colleague in a boring, intelligent Land Cruizer looking with jealousy at my mud spattered, fire breathing, mountain bashing Land Rover Defender but let me not get side tracked. The bakkie market has been dominated by the Hilux for as long as dogs have pee'd on fire hydrants but this has finally been challenged by the arrival of the VW Amarok. If you have sworn buy Toyota with as much spit and vehemence as most Hilux supporters have been doing for the bulk of human history you have two options when faced with the awesome new-comer; either ladle scorn and hatred onto the new German and all who dare drive one or pretend you never drove anything Japanese in all your life and quietly cross the floor. Having parted with massive amounts of cash for your new Amarok and finding yourself the subject of much abuse from Hilux drivers you will find the only way to maintain a stable and coherent psychology is to ladle scorn and hatred with much spit and vehemence onto the outdated old Jap.

The New Ford Ranger, I'm holding my breath!

With these two options being all the rational bakkie owner has to choose from (aside from waiting for the new Ford Ranger which will thrash them both) you will understand my consternation when I was confronted by a tragically confused bakkie owner in the Pavilion last week. The poor man had chosen to wear his keys on a lanyard around his neck for all the world to see. This was no accident, he had a message to communicate to all the motoring public. The lanyard was bright and new. It was boldly adorned with the words "Amarok" and "VW". And the keys hanging from this attention grabbing accessory?... Unmistakably, Hilux.

Really, what are people thinking!?

Until next week!